well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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