I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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