East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
