we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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