The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
