I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
