I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
