Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
