i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
