doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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