yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
