i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
