More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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