with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
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