you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
