Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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