so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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