This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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