Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
