She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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