She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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