I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
