just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
