He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
