I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
