So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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