so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
