Where did you get a picture of my penis
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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