she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
