I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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