Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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