He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
