i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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