I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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