I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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