would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
