Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
