How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
