see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
