But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
