just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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