You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
