ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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