I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We left an ass print on the piano.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
