marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
it wasn't lemon gatorade
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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