She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
