My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
