how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
