on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
