Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
