i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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