is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
